Teaching children to grow into financially responsible adults has proven
to be quite a challenge for most parents. You either don't know how to talk to
your kids about money, you haven't a clue what to say if you could or you don't
realize you're laying down the foundation for their financial education whether
you say anything or not.
You see, if your kids are like most kids, they want stuff. And if you
are like most parents, you'd like to be able to give them that stuff. This is
as expected in America.
But here's the catch. Simply giving your child all of the things he
wants don't support his progress toward self-reliance doesn't build up an internal sense of motivation and certainly doesn't help develop a strong work
ethic. Being Walmart for your kids' unending desires won't lend itself to them
developing a strong belief that they can actually get whatever they want in
life, if they work for it.
If you look at the opposite end of the spectrum, withholding everything
the child wants and even perhaps making him work for some of the things he
needs can force a child to be too responsible too soon and this scenario poses
issues of its own.
A child in this position sometimes loses touch with their childhood,
being forced on many levels to become responsible sooner than perhaps
necessary. Although there is certainly nothing wrong with being responsible,
there is something to be said for letting children be children. After all, most
adults would readily exchange a few of their days toiling in the workplace for
a few care-free days in the woods catching frogs or more likely, running around
the mall with friends or playing the latest video game on the neighbor's
television.
This doesn't necessarily include the child, who at seven years old,
decides to start a business and is making $1000 a month by the time he or she
is ten! This child is internally motivated by some unseen force and should be
encouraged. For children who aren't intrinsically motivated early in life,
forcing them into too much responsibility often adds to the other stresses of
growing up and can actually cause very negative ramifications in terms of a
child's behavior and choices in life while they are young.
The balance between these two, combined to give your children a solid financial education is what helps create an adult with a sound sense of financial responsibility. The question is...how DO you lay down
that solid financial education in those kids of yours in the way best possible
for you and the child?
Before we look at how to teach your children about money, we must
examine how they learn in the first place. This is because how they learn
anything is how they learn everything, so it only makes sense to teach them
about money using their own personal learning style.
Have you ever noticed that you have to 'see' a map to
understand the directions someone is giving you? Or that you have to see a
picture to understand how something goes together or how one thing is
related to another? Do you have to be in the front during the class to
see what the teacher is drawing on the board? Do you use words like see, look,
notice and watch? Your primary learning style is what is referred to as Visual.
On the other hand, do you have to close your eyes to 'hear'
what is being said because the visual interferes with your ability to take in
and process new information? Do you often sit in the middle or in the back at a
seminar because you only need to listen to get the information? Do you use
words like listen and hear? Your primary learning style is called Auditory.
And finally, do you have to 'do a thing to learn it; whether
it's a physical skill, a mental task, or an emotional lesson? Do you often stop
and check in with your body to see how something feels before you decide
whether or not you have learned it or believe it in the first place? Do you use
words like feel, gut, body, and sense? Then your primary learning style is
called Kinesthetic; you learn best through a combination of movement and
emotion related to the subject matter.
Most people learn through a combination of two of the learning styles
and some people learn through all three, but most have one primary style that
they rely on more than the other two. One important note, however, to pay heed
to, is that less than 20% of our population are primarily auditory learners.
The conundrum here is that most of our schools use primarily auditory forms of
instruction.
Let's apply these three learning styles to teaching your children how
money works. If there are three ways for them to learn, they are no doubt
learning about money from you in three ways.
This means that they are watching what you do with money, listening to
what you say about money and experiencing in their bodies the situations you
are experiencing with money.
It is not a new idea that human beings learn best by example. Albert
Einstein once said, "Setting an example is not the main means of
influencing another; it is the only means." He was right on the money, pun
intended. Before you can teach your child anything about money, you must
examine the example that you, as the parent or guardian, are setting for him or
her.
This means that before you set any type of allowance in place, start
savings and checking accounts for your child, encourage them to start a little
business or learn how to trade the latest this and that with friends to learn
the value of different things, you must examine your own financial life to see
what they are learning directly from you.
This is the most critical, and often painful, part of teaching your child about money. You see, allowances are great, and want to empower your
children financially are the greatest gift you can gift any child, however, if
your own financial life is a mess, your children aren't going to learn the
lessons of proper money management and wealth creation.
If you are living on credit cards, constantly telling others how much you
despise money and wish you didn't have to deal with it, complaining about the
cost of living or that you'll never be able to own a home, what is your child
learning? He or she is learning that life is hard and that getting is money is
painful. But it doesn't have to be this way.
If you want your kids to grow up financially savvy, you must first commit
to becoming financially savvy yourself, if you aren't already. Most of us
learned a long time ago that the 'do as I say, not as I do' form of parenting
doesn't work. Teaching our children how to make, manage and multiply their
money wisely falls into that category, just like everything else we want to
teach them.
So it's up to you. Before you attempt to teach your child about saving,
investing in assets, using credit wisely, avoiding bad debt, and donating to
others, you need to be doing these things yourself. Once you have this down,
you are ready to begin instilling in your child the one life skill they
absolutely must learn to live on their own successfully: how to handle
and grow their money wisely and responsibly.
Now, if you're ready to take that first step, get out your magnifying
glass and examine your financial life in detail. Ask yourself what you want
your child to learn about money and then model that behavior and put your child
in the presence of others modeling that behavior. Before long, you'll have
children who are doing the things with their money that financially responsible
people do with their money and they'll be doing it because you are. Good job!
Credit Elisabeth Donati
